Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Arbella - First Parish Newsletter for February 2006
Arbella
First Parish of Watertown Newsletter
February 2006
For calendar listings please refer to the First Parish website, www.fpwatertown, org.
Sermons/Services
Sunday, February 5, 2006 at 11:00 a.m.
"Quantum Faith" Darrick Jackson
Quantum physics requires us to rethink our understanding of the nature of the universe. What can this new science tell us about our faith?
Greeters: Missy and Bob Shay
Social Hour: Anna Glover
Sunday, February 12, 2006 at 11:00 a.m.
“Tell Me You Love Me” Mark W. Harris
When I first became a parent I was determined I was going to tell my son every day that he was loved. I suppose I was compensating because I felt like my parents never told me they loved me. But did I overuse the word? Did it have any meaning? Some thoughts on what we mean when we say “love”, as Valentine’s Day approaches.
Greeters: Charmian Proskauer, Randy Rhoda
Social Hour: Jim Felty and Teodore Ellsworth
Sunday, February 19, 2006 at 11:00 a.m.
“Written in Stone” Andrea Greenwood
Petra is the Latin for stone, as in petroglyphs, or petrified, and as in Peter, the rock upon whom so much rests. From Stonehenge to Shakespeare, who wrote about "sermons in stone", much of religion is not up in the air, but buried deep beneath us.
Greeters: Ken Repp and Chris Johnson
Social Hour: Patricia Fox, Linda Letourneau and Mary Ellen Howe
Sunday, February 26, 2006 at 11:00 a.m.
“The High Cost of Faith” Mark W. Harris
What price would we be paying, if our liberal faith had not played such a great role in history and in our lives? This sermon is for Canvass Sunday, and is not so much about what you will pledge, but about what this faith is worth to you.
Greeters: Eileen Ryan and Ingrid Sayied
Social Hour: Jeanne Cleary and Barry Grees
Captain’s Log
Most of you know me as someone who is interested in the past. The study of history has been my passion for most of my life. I believe cultures can learn much from their history, and that we tend to repeat our history until we understand ourselves, and overcome our patterns of behavior. I also believe that meaning is created in history. As a humanist, I do not believe that meaning is forged for us according to some divine plan. What love, understanding and peace we build in our lives comes through the kind of relationships and communities we create. If there is a God or a source of life that we can all connect to, then we must be its hands and its feet through the kind of lives we live.
Historically, there has been quite a bit of interest in recent years in the French and Indian Wars, a subject that most of us heretofore knew nothing about. There has been a PBS show about the wars, and your minister has become fascinated with this subject area. The selling of the portrait of our 18th century minister Seth Storer has intrigued me, as I learned his father was a military officer, their home a garrison, and his sister was taken captive to Canada, never to return. See my sermon “Seth Goes Home” on our web site. As I said in that sermon I think those times of terror, and cross cultural chaos were similar to our own, and we can learn from them.
Presently I am reading a book about the February 1704 raid on Deerfield, Massachusetts. I learned that many of those attackers who took Storer’s sister were also involved in the Deerfield raid. When I was growing up we were instructed that this was to be called the Deerfield massacre, where our racist notions of bloodthirsty savages killing nice white people was vividly portrayed. Deerfield is close to where I grew up, and local school children were always tramped to the museum to see the massive, wooden door of one house that was relentlessly hacked at with tomahawks, but resisted forced entry. I remember as a young boy being awestruck at imagining the scene of chaos and fury as the attack on Deerfield took place. It was unsettling to say the least.
What I find intriguing about the book I am reading (Captors and Captives) is that it attempts to understand this conflict from all perspectives - Native, English and French. One begins to understand a conflict much better when we attempt to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. The attack on Deerfield was partly an expression of what was called a “mourning war.” Mourning wars were typically waged in order to procure captives. Remember Storer’s sister and at Deerfield, there were many captives. In Iroquoian culture when someone lost a relative, and could not overcome the pain of the loss, then they would seek a captive to help ease the pain, and in effect, to replace the deceased relative. We know that many times these captives were adopted into the culture, as was true of Storer’s sister.
What is interesting about this is that sometimes cruelty was used to try to restore emotional health because of some great sorrow. In addition the attack is not about plunder or property, it is about pain. So often it seems intense emotional pain of this sort is expressed in the need for revenge. I am going to get you for what has happened to me. The larger story was one of cultures and empires crashing together. Deerfield occupied what was once Native lands. Were they coming to take them back? Historically all the cultures have tended to hold up their own perspective on what happened, and they try to assuage their own role by saying they were victimized. As I said, I grew up in the massacre camp. Now I read to understand the Native perspective, and even the French point of view. Like the mourning war, perhaps that is the beginning of emotional health for all of us. What pain has the other suffered? How can we begin to understand one another? We have a hard enough time doing that right here in Watertown. It begins with learning and listening, and opening our hearts to hear how others mourn their losses and their pain.
Mark
Hobby Night
Have some project you've been planning to do and don't get around to it?
First Parish's tradition of gathering for time together to share project work continues. On February 9th we will be meeting in the conference room. People have come with quilts, sewing machines, wood-working, scrap-booking, buttons, knitting... Don't suffer from Cabin Fever! Make progress on a project you've been hoping to do!!! Gathering begins around 7 and continues until 9:30. The evening is sponsored by the Growth Committee and Elizabeth Tappan-deFrees will be around to do some endless mending projects, open the church and make sure there are some yummy treats and drinks. Please let her know if you have questions: edefrees@aol.com. RSVPs are not necessary - please just come, meet, and enjoy!
Among Us
Our sympathy to Sue Demb and family at the death of Sue’s mother, Barbara Bartlett on December 30 at the age of 93 .
A warm welcome to new member, Rebecca Sheehan. Rebecca has been coming the last few months and has been a tremendous source of help in our RE Program . She is a born UU from New Jersey.
Ken Repp and Chris Johnson are pictured on the NPR Website - Such fame! A print out is posted on the bulletin board downstairs.
Benefit Concert is coming - March 18
Pianist Jacqueline Schwab and cellist Reinmar Seidler (New Rigged Ship) will perform a concert of Neo-traditional Scottish and Shetland tunes and tales at the First Parish of Watertown on Saturday, March 18 at 8:00 p.m. Jacqueline Schwab’s piano improvisations on vintage American music have been heard internationally, on the soundtracks to eleven of Ken Burns’ documentaries, including “The Civil War,” “Baseball” and “Mark Twain.” She has recorded and performed traditional Scottish music with fiddlers Alasdair Fraser and Laura Risk and also with singer Jeanne Redpath (including an appearance on “A Prairie Home Companion”). Reinmar Seidler has also been heard on several of Ken Burns’ documentaries. He has recorded and performed with a number of ensembles, including the Cleveland-based sextet Scarborough Fayre (with Scottish fiddler David Greenberg on fiddle). The concert, sponsored by our Social Action Committee, will benefit Girl Scouts Beyond Bars, for children of inmates at MCI Framingham. Watertown Tickets are $20 and are available at the door.
Social Action/ Giving Box
Our final UU Service Committee Guest at Your Table total was a wonderful $1,574.50. Thank you to everyone who contributed.
Don’t forget our January/ February Giving Box is for Teen L.E.E.P. Books. Please bring in your new or nearly new nonfiction selections. These books will be sold at Teen L.E.E.P.’s book store in Waltham. This is a wonderful
program for children who are aging out of the foster care program, and learning skills to live in the world
Women & Work
Next Meeting, Tuesday, February 28, 2006, 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm. Conference Room at First Parish of Watertown.
TOPIC: "Why is it so hard to be ethical at work?" Many companies have sincerely tried but failed to be ethical. What is going on? Can individual employees do anything about it, or are the costs to us personally just too high? Join us as we explore the topic of ethics in the workplace. Leading us will be Dr. Judith Kamm, Associate Dean of Business and McCallum Graduate School at Bentley College. Judy has been a member of Bentley’s Management Department for more than 20 years. She has published books and articles in managing innovation, entrepreneurial teams, and business ethics. Her administrative career includes positions as Associate Director of Bentley’s Center for Business Ethics from 1991-1995 and MBA Program Director from 1997-2005. In addition, Judy was the Academic Integrity Coordinator from 2002 until 2004. She holds a Doctorate of Business Administration from Harvard Business School, a Master of Arts in English Literature from the University of Colorado, and a Bachelors of Arts in English Literature from Emmanuel College in Boston. Judy has been a member of FPW for many years and is currently chair of our trustees.
Recommended reading: The Cheating Culture by David Callahan. 2004. ISBN: 0-15-603005-5 (pbk)
Women and Work meets on the 4th Tuesday of each month. All who are interested are welcome. If you wish to be on the email list or have questions please contact Marie Kemmler at tkuralt@hotmail.com 781-455-6746.
Musical Musings
By popular demand, we are having another choir sing. It will be on Sunday, Feb. 12th.
This time I am scheduling two Monday night rehearsals...this is for me as well as the singers. I do like to rehearse and prepare ourselves for the service. But don't worry if you can't come on both Mondays.... Come when you can!!!! We are counting on all you singers out there to join us. It is such fun to have a big group! We have some great music to sing!!
Rehearsal Times:
Mon. Jan 30th ..........6:45 P.M.
Mon. Feb. 6th ............6:45 P.M.
Rehearsal and Service:
Sun. Feb. 11 ...............9:45 A.M.
11:00 A.M. service
Patty DeVore, Music Director
R.E.flections by a chaliceD.R.E.amer
by Roberta Altamari
Wow! It's been a busy month and we've got even more to come in February.
Collaboration
A highlight of this month has seeing how well collaboration can work. We continued our January tradition of putting the UU principle of "coming together with acceptance" by visiting another UU church. This year we went to United First Parish of Quincy and had a fabulous time. The highlight was seeing the crypt containing the tombs of President John Adams, Abigail Adams, President John Quincy Adams, and Louisa Adams. As in other years, there were things about the church we visited that were similar to life in Watertown and things that were different. It is always fun to visit our neighbors.
Collaboration was mentioned last Friday when I represented Watertown at a Mass Bay District meeting. The Board wanted church leaders to speak about our dreams for our churches and our district. As you could probably guess, we talked about the usual topics like growth, strong programs, and getting the Unitarian Universalist name out to our communities. I also got to hear the perspective of folks who attend smaller, struggling churches. It made me feel proud to be a part of Watertown's growing and vibrant community.
After we covered the usual topics that demand our attention, we shared even more discussion. A minister from Dorchester (who I liked but I can't remember his name) talked about district life out in California. Despite the churches being much farther apart from each other, there was much more collaboration. Sharing resources! What a great idea!! We've been doing it this year with Waltham to offer our OWL programs and it has been very successful. If we get creative, what other resources could we build here at First Parish by networking with other UU churches?
As our children begin exploring our UU principle of "valuing each voice as we work together" later this month, the adult members of our community will need to consider that same principle as we do some important work here at First Parish. Big topics are coming up before the congregation, such as "governance" and our annual budget. There is a proposal coming out to explore and consider an alternative form of governance at First Parish. I haven't heard the details of the vision yet, but I do happen to know that many other UU churches across the country have undergone or are considering similar changes. I think that it is important when considering important fundamental aspects of the church that we each take a moment to step back from our individual desires. Sure, we all have our personal goals. But we also need to look at the big picture and consider the overall health and well-being of the entire church community. We need to consider how today's choices will affect the future success of First Parish. As we consider the upcoming suggestions, I challenge us to not visualize the current staff and church leaders in the positions they are in, but to instead visualize what is the ideal set-up for any people in such positions.
Now I will sound like I am completely contradicting myself as I tell you to consider the personal in your relationships at church, but I'm not really. There is always a fine balance between working for the good of our church community and remembering that it is individual people volunteering to come together to do that work. While we all naturally want the absolute best situations for ourselves and our children, it's not always realistic to expect to get it. We live in a real world with real people where perfection is an impossible quest. In fact, creating a safe environment in which we can learn how to cope with life's ups and downs might be what is most important.
I just experienced a very upsetting situation with my Girl Scout troop that I have been volunteer leading for the last 3 years. Different parents have different reasons for participating in Girl Scouts and those different goals are sometimes articulated to me in complaints about why things aren't right for their kids. When the desires of the parents differed, things blew up with many people getting upset. I later heard from other Watertown troop leaders about similar fiascoes. But the biggest message I walked away with was this ... how much can we expect of volunteers? It later made me wonder if our volunteers at First Parish ever feel taken for granted.
Volunteers often do amazing things, much more than most people would ever ask them to do. But do they hear often enough how much they are valued? Do we ever stop and realize how much better our lives are because of volunteers? Do we ever begin to "expect" our best volunteers to keep working? Do we ever complain to our volunteers about what they didn't do instead of thanking them for what they did? Even worse, do we ever criticize our volunteers for doing something different than the way we would have done it? Fortunately, I don't think this happens too often at First Parish, but it certainly doesn't hurt to think carefully about the messages we send all of the people who volunteer any of their time at our church.
Volunteer thank yous!
Speaking of appreciating volunteers, I once again want to thank the many folks who have been helping in our Children's Ministry. I've seen many First Parish folks rising to the challenge to volunteer a lot of time to making our programs so great for our children. From Kyle Hart doing a weekend conference with our high school youth and Celeste Oliva's positive energy as she stays to help me clean up week after week to Charlyn Bethell's fabulous work with our kids' choirs, many people have been very generous with their time and energy this year. From people jumping in to help with only a few days notice to folks like Bea Vitello and Cody Urban coming every almost week to assist with the preschoolers, the list of people who need a special "thank you" are endless.
Several people have really gone above and beyond what we could ever dream volunteers would do. First there is Elizabeth Tappan-deFrees and Darrick Jackson leading our OWL program for our middle schoolers. Unbelievable has been the commitment and work they have put into their roles! Then the unexpected but much appreciated side benefit of Beth being so busy for us was that her spouse, Isabel Tappan-deFrees ended up dedicating the same love and energy to working with our Rainbow Seekers. Wow, do we owe these two wonderful ladies a night out or something!
And last but definitely not least has been the amazing work this year done by Andrea Greenwood. If you have a child in the 4th and 5th grade group, you know how much these kids have loved working with Andrea this year. I met with them last week and they told me about all the good feelings that they feel for Andrea. Behind these excellent experiences she has been sharing with them every week has been countless hours of preparation. Knowing she used to be our minister and then our DRE, it's too easy to forget that she is now volunteering all this talent and effort. How many UU churches do you know who get a minister as one of their most active volunteers? I probably don't need to tell you all how very, very, very lucky we are.
More volunteers needed!
Even with all this dedication, we need volunteers more than ever. With six groups running weekly, we have 13 volunteer positions to fill every week. There are way too many jobs to be covered by our few dedicated volunteers. There have been a few weeks this year where I had to combine groups or have leaders without assistants because we couldn't find enough volunteers. Please help us prevent that from happening again. We desperately need YOUR help! Please contact me today!!
First Parish Wish List
These are some of our current church needs:
Working sewing machine
Rolling cart for TV (our's is falling apart)
VCR that doesn't ruin tapes when it rewinds
Contact Mark, Roberta or Nancy if can help.
A Midshipman's Musings
"Move to the rear! Fill up any empty spaces," the bus driver said early one winter morning. And he waited for several minutes as people realized that he was serious, and grudgingly moved forward into the vehicle. I asked myself,
"How many people can you fit on this bus? If anything happened to us, there would be no way that everyone would get out safely." And so I watched as he filled the bus with more and more people, packing us in like a box of crayons. I hoped that no one was claustrophobic. When the bus was full to his liking, he closed the door and took off.
This is our culture. We are expected to use up every available space, use up all of your resources, and get every last crumb or drop. No wonder we are so tired and stressed out. We have no reserves left. We deplete ourselves daily and rarely have a chance to get a refill. We rarely have a chance to be still.
I'm learning that stillness can be a good thing. Having time not doing anything or without anticipating doing something is a treasure, an all too rare treasure. I find that I am more peaceful when I take a break, and usually more productive. And the more that I do it, the more I find my body craving for those moments of respite.
After my experience on the bus, I find that I am reluctant to get on a full bus. I have no need to be squished in with all of those people. It makes my introvert side scream. So I wait for the next bus. And sometimes, the bus after that. I use the time as an extra moment to rest.
Blessed Be,
Darrick Jackson
Student minister
Canvass Dinners
Dear Members and Friends of First Parish,
It's that time of the year when we start planning for the Annual Canvass. The Canvass is when members and friends of First Parish pledge to provide financial support for our operating budget for the coming year (which begins on April 1st in the church's financial calendar). Your financial pledge is critical in supporting all of the services and programs of First Parish.
This year's Canvass will be similar to last year's. The Canvass begins with a special sermon on February 26 and is followed by eight Canvass potluck suppers during March. Members and friends of First Parish are invited to attend one of the suppers to socialize with fellow parishioners, talk about the church, and make their pledge for the coming year. The Canvass ends with the Annual Dinner on March 25.
To support these suppers, we need two volunteers for each: a facilitator and a host. The facilitator is responsible for leading the discussion and reporting back on the pledge results (facilitator tips will be provided). The host provides space for the dinner -- their home, in most cases -- and coordinates the food for the potluck. Are you willing to take-on one of these roles?
The dates are the following:
Thursday, March 2, 7-9 PM at the host's home
Friday, March 3, 7-9 PM at the host's home
Saturday, March 4, 5:30-7:30 PM at First Parish, with childcare provided
Sunday, March 5, 7-9 PM at the host's home
Thursday, March 9, 7-9 PM at the host's home
Friday, March 10, 7-9 PM at the host's home
Saturday, March 11, 7-9 PM at the host’s home
Sunday, March 12, 5:30-7:30 PM at First Parish, with childcare provided
If you would like to serve as the host or facilitator for one of the potluck suppers, please contact John Portz at jportz@rcn.com or 617-924-1899.
All members and friends will have a chance to sign-up for a dinner later in the month of February. We will post sign-up sheets at church, and email all of you again once we know the hosts and facilitators.
Thanks,
John Portz
For the Canvass Committee
Watertown Walks
Watertown Walks! presents their next event "Wetlands of West Watertown" Saturday, February 11, at 2:00 PM. Meet at the Gore Place parking lot, Gore Street, Waltham. We'll be strolling along the stream that cuts through Gore Place and discussing wetland indicator plants. The walk carries over to Waltham Street where we will view Walker Pond. Time permitting, we will continue the walk down to the Charles River. The walk should appeal to
nature lovers and history buffs alike. Watertown Walks! is a program sponsored by Watertown Citizens for Environmental Safety. For more information, call Kathy Button (617) 923-1840.
Financial Commitment to Your Church
The Canvass Committee wishes to thank all the members and friends of First Parish listed below (77 pledge units)who have so generously made pledges or made recorded contributions to support our church in the 2005-2006 church year. If you would like to join this community of people who through their financial contributions enable First Parish to continue to play its important role in all of our spiritual lives, please feel free to speak to our Minister, Mark Harris, or Bob Shay, the chair of the Canvass Committee about pledging.
Allendoerfer, Karen
Altamari, Michael and Roberta
Babazadeh, Djalai
Beck, Barbara
Bejcek, Harold
Bender, Brigitte
Benson, David & Dutton, Nancy
Berney, Carole & Chuck
Bethell, Charlyn & Urban, Guy
Bloom, Ann
Boenau, Marilyn
Brown, Gretchen
Brown, Roberta
Burkhardt, Gwynne
Button, Kathy
Cachimuel, Holly ; Calleja, Ric
Carnese, Paula
Carver, Denise
Chipman, Eric
Collins, Marianne & Michael
Dansereau, Paul & Miller, Julie
Day, Paul & Mulvaney Day, Norah
Demb, Sue & Joe
Drozd, Edward & Michelle
Erickson, Johanna
Felty, Jim ; Fitts, Judi
Flint, Susan & Haddad, Nick
Flannery, Patricia and Charles Gibson
Fox, Patricia and Linda Letourneau
Glover, Anna
Greene, Ruth
Guidrey, Susan and Val McDonald
Gustin, Stephen
Hansberry, Barbara
Harrington, Anne
Harris, Mark & Greenwood, Andrea
Hart, Kyle & Johanna
Howe, Maryellen and Brian
Howland, Brian & Janie
Johnson, Christopher & Repp, Ken
Kamm, Roger & Judy
Karls, Andrea
Klein, Jan
Klein, Rachel Ann
Knight, Anna
Knuttunen, Jane
Kuder, Sue
McCarthy, Michael
McFarland, Rosalind
Merkl, Jean & Gorman, John
Morrison, David
Morton, Kelly and Kyle
Mountain, Joani ; Otto, Kevin
Parsons, Beth ; Peters, Kim
Portz, John & Montague, Meredith
Proskauer, Charmian
Rhoda, Randy
Ryan, Eileen ; Sayied, Ingrid
Schlivek, Mary
Scott, Martha
Shay, Missy & Bob
Shepard, Diane & Thom
Sherman, Aurora & Miller, Jeff
Stein, Deborah
Sweeney, Jacqui
Tappan-deFrees, Elizabeth & Isabel
Tawa, Nicholas & Michelina
Turner, Patricia
Twombly, Will & Sue
Urban, Martha
Vogel, Jerusha and Ken
Warren, Kathy & David
WORSHIP SURVEY COMING YOUR WAY - WE WANT YOUR THOUGHTS AND IDEAS!
The First Parish Worship Committee has developed a survey to gather your thoughts, experiences, and visions concerning our worship service. It’s been several years since we’ve conducted a worship survey.
Since it is fitting for UU's to share their voices, and your voice is essential to this community, we want to invite – no URGE – you to take this upcoming opportunity to offer your perspectives on worship.
March will be survey month – we will be distributing the surveys electronically through e-mail and printed copies will be available at the church. You can complete and return your survey anytime in the month of March – up until Sunday, April 2, which will be the final collection day. You may submit your completed survey by e-mail or hard copy.
PLEASE DON'T MISS THIS CHANCE TO OFFER YOUR UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE AND VISION FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR WORSHIP TIME TOGETHER.
Worship Committee
Marianne Collins, Guy Urban
Djalai Babazadeh, Chris Johnson
Eric Chapman, Jeanne Cleary
Covenant Group
Our February meeting is open to newcomers. The meeting is being held on Sunday, February 26 at 1:00 p.m. Stay after church/social hour for a stimulating conversation in the conference room. Our topic in February is “Living Simply.” What are you doing in your life to live more simply? Please bring readings and/or ideas to share.
Hymnal Appeal
Did you know that you can purchase a new hymnal for the church and then dedicate it in memory or in honor of someone? We have special bookplates for this purpose. We would love to increase the number of hymnals we have, so that everyone at worship can have one (or nearly everyone). The cost is
$30.00. Please speak to Mark.
Let this also be a reminder that borrowed hymnals should please be returned to
church.
Attention UU Landlords
UU MINISTER SEEKS AN APARTMENT THAT FEELS LIKE HOME.
I am a UU Community Minister, studying Spirituality in the Doctor of Ministry program at Andover Newton Theological School. Because my current landlord is selling his property, I must move - again. I enjoy
living in the Arlington/Watertown area and want to stay! So, I am actively seeking a 2-bedroom apartment, and think it would be splendid to rent from a kindred UU. If you have a vacant apartment or one coming
up between February and May, I hope you will contact me.
Because of allergies, my ideal home has wood floors, radiator or baseboard heat, a washer/dryer hook-up, co-tenants who don’t smoke or use lots of chemicals or fragrances. My ideal home has not been newly renovated, freshly painted or floors re-done. It will be sunny and cozy and the landlord will be awesome! If the rent is reasonable, that’s a plus.
I am quiet, mature and responsible, and will care for your property as if it were my own. I don’t smoke or drink or have children or pets.
If you have a place for me, I look forward to hearing from you.
With gratitude and blessings,
Rev. Jade Angelica (781-648-1525 / jangelica@uuma.org)
Join the UU Coaching Network!
UUCN is growing and invites you to join! This non-profit association is a
community of professionally trained life coaches anchored in the UU principles
of compassion, integrity and inclusion. To learn of its mission and how you can
Benefit from membership, please visit www.uucoachingnetwork.org, if you are
considering hiring a coach, UUCN is also a resource to find the right coach for you.
First Parish of Watertown Newsletter
February 2006
For calendar listings please refer to the First Parish website, www.fpwatertown, org.
Sermons/Services
Sunday, February 5, 2006 at 11:00 a.m.
"Quantum Faith" Darrick Jackson
Quantum physics requires us to rethink our understanding of the nature of the universe. What can this new science tell us about our faith?
Greeters: Missy and Bob Shay
Social Hour: Anna Glover
Sunday, February 12, 2006 at 11:00 a.m.
“Tell Me You Love Me” Mark W. Harris
When I first became a parent I was determined I was going to tell my son every day that he was loved. I suppose I was compensating because I felt like my parents never told me they loved me. But did I overuse the word? Did it have any meaning? Some thoughts on what we mean when we say “love”, as Valentine’s Day approaches.
Greeters: Charmian Proskauer, Randy Rhoda
Social Hour: Jim Felty and Teodore Ellsworth
Sunday, February 19, 2006 at 11:00 a.m.
“Written in Stone” Andrea Greenwood
Petra is the Latin for stone, as in petroglyphs, or petrified, and as in Peter, the rock upon whom so much rests. From Stonehenge to Shakespeare, who wrote about "sermons in stone", much of religion is not up in the air, but buried deep beneath us.
Greeters: Ken Repp and Chris Johnson
Social Hour: Patricia Fox, Linda Letourneau and Mary Ellen Howe
Sunday, February 26, 2006 at 11:00 a.m.
“The High Cost of Faith” Mark W. Harris
What price would we be paying, if our liberal faith had not played such a great role in history and in our lives? This sermon is for Canvass Sunday, and is not so much about what you will pledge, but about what this faith is worth to you.
Greeters: Eileen Ryan and Ingrid Sayied
Social Hour: Jeanne Cleary and Barry Grees
Captain’s Log
Most of you know me as someone who is interested in the past. The study of history has been my passion for most of my life. I believe cultures can learn much from their history, and that we tend to repeat our history until we understand ourselves, and overcome our patterns of behavior. I also believe that meaning is created in history. As a humanist, I do not believe that meaning is forged for us according to some divine plan. What love, understanding and peace we build in our lives comes through the kind of relationships and communities we create. If there is a God or a source of life that we can all connect to, then we must be its hands and its feet through the kind of lives we live.
Historically, there has been quite a bit of interest in recent years in the French and Indian Wars, a subject that most of us heretofore knew nothing about. There has been a PBS show about the wars, and your minister has become fascinated with this subject area. The selling of the portrait of our 18th century minister Seth Storer has intrigued me, as I learned his father was a military officer, their home a garrison, and his sister was taken captive to Canada, never to return. See my sermon “Seth Goes Home” on our web site. As I said in that sermon I think those times of terror, and cross cultural chaos were similar to our own, and we can learn from them.
Presently I am reading a book about the February 1704 raid on Deerfield, Massachusetts. I learned that many of those attackers who took Storer’s sister were also involved in the Deerfield raid. When I was growing up we were instructed that this was to be called the Deerfield massacre, where our racist notions of bloodthirsty savages killing nice white people was vividly portrayed. Deerfield is close to where I grew up, and local school children were always tramped to the museum to see the massive, wooden door of one house that was relentlessly hacked at with tomahawks, but resisted forced entry. I remember as a young boy being awestruck at imagining the scene of chaos and fury as the attack on Deerfield took place. It was unsettling to say the least.
What I find intriguing about the book I am reading (Captors and Captives) is that it attempts to understand this conflict from all perspectives - Native, English and French. One begins to understand a conflict much better when we attempt to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. The attack on Deerfield was partly an expression of what was called a “mourning war.” Mourning wars were typically waged in order to procure captives. Remember Storer’s sister and at Deerfield, there were many captives. In Iroquoian culture when someone lost a relative, and could not overcome the pain of the loss, then they would seek a captive to help ease the pain, and in effect, to replace the deceased relative. We know that many times these captives were adopted into the culture, as was true of Storer’s sister.
What is interesting about this is that sometimes cruelty was used to try to restore emotional health because of some great sorrow. In addition the attack is not about plunder or property, it is about pain. So often it seems intense emotional pain of this sort is expressed in the need for revenge. I am going to get you for what has happened to me. The larger story was one of cultures and empires crashing together. Deerfield occupied what was once Native lands. Were they coming to take them back? Historically all the cultures have tended to hold up their own perspective on what happened, and they try to assuage their own role by saying they were victimized. As I said, I grew up in the massacre camp. Now I read to understand the Native perspective, and even the French point of view. Like the mourning war, perhaps that is the beginning of emotional health for all of us. What pain has the other suffered? How can we begin to understand one another? We have a hard enough time doing that right here in Watertown. It begins with learning and listening, and opening our hearts to hear how others mourn their losses and their pain.
Mark
Hobby Night
Have some project you've been planning to do and don't get around to it?
First Parish's tradition of gathering for time together to share project work continues. On February 9th we will be meeting in the conference room. People have come with quilts, sewing machines, wood-working, scrap-booking, buttons, knitting... Don't suffer from Cabin Fever! Make progress on a project you've been hoping to do!!! Gathering begins around 7 and continues until 9:30. The evening is sponsored by the Growth Committee and Elizabeth Tappan-deFrees will be around to do some endless mending projects, open the church and make sure there are some yummy treats and drinks. Please let her know if you have questions: edefrees@aol.com. RSVPs are not necessary - please just come, meet, and enjoy!
Among Us
Our sympathy to Sue Demb and family at the death of Sue’s mother, Barbara Bartlett on December 30 at the age of 93 .
A warm welcome to new member, Rebecca Sheehan. Rebecca has been coming the last few months and has been a tremendous source of help in our RE Program . She is a born UU from New Jersey.
Ken Repp and Chris Johnson are pictured on the NPR Website - Such fame! A print out is posted on the bulletin board downstairs.
Benefit Concert is coming - March 18
Pianist Jacqueline Schwab and cellist Reinmar Seidler (New Rigged Ship) will perform a concert of Neo-traditional Scottish and Shetland tunes and tales at the First Parish of Watertown on Saturday, March 18 at 8:00 p.m. Jacqueline Schwab’s piano improvisations on vintage American music have been heard internationally, on the soundtracks to eleven of Ken Burns’ documentaries, including “The Civil War,” “Baseball” and “Mark Twain.” She has recorded and performed traditional Scottish music with fiddlers Alasdair Fraser and Laura Risk and also with singer Jeanne Redpath (including an appearance on “A Prairie Home Companion”). Reinmar Seidler has also been heard on several of Ken Burns’ documentaries. He has recorded and performed with a number of ensembles, including the Cleveland-based sextet Scarborough Fayre (with Scottish fiddler David Greenberg on fiddle). The concert, sponsored by our Social Action Committee, will benefit Girl Scouts Beyond Bars, for children of inmates at MCI Framingham. Watertown Tickets are $20 and are available at the door.
Social Action/ Giving Box
Our final UU Service Committee Guest at Your Table total was a wonderful $1,574.50. Thank you to everyone who contributed.
Don’t forget our January/ February Giving Box is for Teen L.E.E.P. Books. Please bring in your new or nearly new nonfiction selections. These books will be sold at Teen L.E.E.P.’s book store in Waltham. This is a wonderful
program for children who are aging out of the foster care program, and learning skills to live in the world
Women & Work
Next Meeting, Tuesday, February 28, 2006, 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm. Conference Room at First Parish of Watertown.
TOPIC: "Why is it so hard to be ethical at work?" Many companies have sincerely tried but failed to be ethical. What is going on? Can individual employees do anything about it, or are the costs to us personally just too high? Join us as we explore the topic of ethics in the workplace. Leading us will be Dr. Judith Kamm, Associate Dean of Business and McCallum Graduate School at Bentley College. Judy has been a member of Bentley’s Management Department for more than 20 years. She has published books and articles in managing innovation, entrepreneurial teams, and business ethics. Her administrative career includes positions as Associate Director of Bentley’s Center for Business Ethics from 1991-1995 and MBA Program Director from 1997-2005. In addition, Judy was the Academic Integrity Coordinator from 2002 until 2004. She holds a Doctorate of Business Administration from Harvard Business School, a Master of Arts in English Literature from the University of Colorado, and a Bachelors of Arts in English Literature from Emmanuel College in Boston. Judy has been a member of FPW for many years and is currently chair of our trustees.
Recommended reading: The Cheating Culture by David Callahan. 2004. ISBN: 0-15-603005-5 (pbk)
Women and Work meets on the 4th Tuesday of each month. All who are interested are welcome. If you wish to be on the email list or have questions please contact Marie Kemmler at tkuralt@hotmail.com 781-455-6746.
Musical Musings
By popular demand, we are having another choir sing. It will be on Sunday, Feb. 12th.
This time I am scheduling two Monday night rehearsals...this is for me as well as the singers. I do like to rehearse and prepare ourselves for the service. But don't worry if you can't come on both Mondays.... Come when you can!!!! We are counting on all you singers out there to join us. It is such fun to have a big group! We have some great music to sing!!
Rehearsal Times:
Mon. Jan 30th ..........6:45 P.M.
Mon. Feb. 6th ............6:45 P.M.
Rehearsal and Service:
Sun. Feb. 11 ...............9:45 A.M.
11:00 A.M. service
Patty DeVore, Music Director
R.E.flections by a chaliceD.R.E.amer
by Roberta Altamari
Wow! It's been a busy month and we've got even more to come in February.
Collaboration
A highlight of this month has seeing how well collaboration can work. We continued our January tradition of putting the UU principle of "coming together with acceptance" by visiting another UU church. This year we went to United First Parish of Quincy and had a fabulous time. The highlight was seeing the crypt containing the tombs of President John Adams, Abigail Adams, President John Quincy Adams, and Louisa Adams. As in other years, there were things about the church we visited that were similar to life in Watertown and things that were different. It is always fun to visit our neighbors.
Collaboration was mentioned last Friday when I represented Watertown at a Mass Bay District meeting. The Board wanted church leaders to speak about our dreams for our churches and our district. As you could probably guess, we talked about the usual topics like growth, strong programs, and getting the Unitarian Universalist name out to our communities. I also got to hear the perspective of folks who attend smaller, struggling churches. It made me feel proud to be a part of Watertown's growing and vibrant community.
After we covered the usual topics that demand our attention, we shared even more discussion. A minister from Dorchester (who I liked but I can't remember his name) talked about district life out in California. Despite the churches being much farther apart from each other, there was much more collaboration. Sharing resources! What a great idea!! We've been doing it this year with Waltham to offer our OWL programs and it has been very successful. If we get creative, what other resources could we build here at First Parish by networking with other UU churches?
As our children begin exploring our UU principle of "valuing each voice as we work together" later this month, the adult members of our community will need to consider that same principle as we do some important work here at First Parish. Big topics are coming up before the congregation, such as "governance" and our annual budget. There is a proposal coming out to explore and consider an alternative form of governance at First Parish. I haven't heard the details of the vision yet, but I do happen to know that many other UU churches across the country have undergone or are considering similar changes. I think that it is important when considering important fundamental aspects of the church that we each take a moment to step back from our individual desires. Sure, we all have our personal goals. But we also need to look at the big picture and consider the overall health and well-being of the entire church community. We need to consider how today's choices will affect the future success of First Parish. As we consider the upcoming suggestions, I challenge us to not visualize the current staff and church leaders in the positions they are in, but to instead visualize what is the ideal set-up for any people in such positions.
Now I will sound like I am completely contradicting myself as I tell you to consider the personal in your relationships at church, but I'm not really. There is always a fine balance between working for the good of our church community and remembering that it is individual people volunteering to come together to do that work. While we all naturally want the absolute best situations for ourselves and our children, it's not always realistic to expect to get it. We live in a real world with real people where perfection is an impossible quest. In fact, creating a safe environment in which we can learn how to cope with life's ups and downs might be what is most important.
I just experienced a very upsetting situation with my Girl Scout troop that I have been volunteer leading for the last 3 years. Different parents have different reasons for participating in Girl Scouts and those different goals are sometimes articulated to me in complaints about why things aren't right for their kids. When the desires of the parents differed, things blew up with many people getting upset. I later heard from other Watertown troop leaders about similar fiascoes. But the biggest message I walked away with was this ... how much can we expect of volunteers? It later made me wonder if our volunteers at First Parish ever feel taken for granted.
Volunteers often do amazing things, much more than most people would ever ask them to do. But do they hear often enough how much they are valued? Do we ever stop and realize how much better our lives are because of volunteers? Do we ever begin to "expect" our best volunteers to keep working? Do we ever complain to our volunteers about what they didn't do instead of thanking them for what they did? Even worse, do we ever criticize our volunteers for doing something different than the way we would have done it? Fortunately, I don't think this happens too often at First Parish, but it certainly doesn't hurt to think carefully about the messages we send all of the people who volunteer any of their time at our church.
Volunteer thank yous!
Speaking of appreciating volunteers, I once again want to thank the many folks who have been helping in our Children's Ministry. I've seen many First Parish folks rising to the challenge to volunteer a lot of time to making our programs so great for our children. From Kyle Hart doing a weekend conference with our high school youth and Celeste Oliva's positive energy as she stays to help me clean up week after week to Charlyn Bethell's fabulous work with our kids' choirs, many people have been very generous with their time and energy this year. From people jumping in to help with only a few days notice to folks like Bea Vitello and Cody Urban coming every almost week to assist with the preschoolers, the list of people who need a special "thank you" are endless.
Several people have really gone above and beyond what we could ever dream volunteers would do. First there is Elizabeth Tappan-deFrees and Darrick Jackson leading our OWL program for our middle schoolers. Unbelievable has been the commitment and work they have put into their roles! Then the unexpected but much appreciated side benefit of Beth being so busy for us was that her spouse, Isabel Tappan-deFrees ended up dedicating the same love and energy to working with our Rainbow Seekers. Wow, do we owe these two wonderful ladies a night out or something!
And last but definitely not least has been the amazing work this year done by Andrea Greenwood. If you have a child in the 4th and 5th grade group, you know how much these kids have loved working with Andrea this year. I met with them last week and they told me about all the good feelings that they feel for Andrea. Behind these excellent experiences she has been sharing with them every week has been countless hours of preparation. Knowing she used to be our minister and then our DRE, it's too easy to forget that she is now volunteering all this talent and effort. How many UU churches do you know who get a minister as one of their most active volunteers? I probably don't need to tell you all how very, very, very lucky we are.
More volunteers needed!
Even with all this dedication, we need volunteers more than ever. With six groups running weekly, we have 13 volunteer positions to fill every week. There are way too many jobs to be covered by our few dedicated volunteers. There have been a few weeks this year where I had to combine groups or have leaders without assistants because we couldn't find enough volunteers. Please help us prevent that from happening again. We desperately need YOUR help! Please contact me today!!
First Parish Wish List
These are some of our current church needs:
Working sewing machine
Rolling cart for TV (our's is falling apart)
VCR that doesn't ruin tapes when it rewinds
Contact Mark, Roberta or Nancy if can help.
A Midshipman's Musings
"Move to the rear! Fill up any empty spaces," the bus driver said early one winter morning. And he waited for several minutes as people realized that he was serious, and grudgingly moved forward into the vehicle. I asked myself,
"How many people can you fit on this bus? If anything happened to us, there would be no way that everyone would get out safely." And so I watched as he filled the bus with more and more people, packing us in like a box of crayons. I hoped that no one was claustrophobic. When the bus was full to his liking, he closed the door and took off.
This is our culture. We are expected to use up every available space, use up all of your resources, and get every last crumb or drop. No wonder we are so tired and stressed out. We have no reserves left. We deplete ourselves daily and rarely have a chance to get a refill. We rarely have a chance to be still.
I'm learning that stillness can be a good thing. Having time not doing anything or without anticipating doing something is a treasure, an all too rare treasure. I find that I am more peaceful when I take a break, and usually more productive. And the more that I do it, the more I find my body craving for those moments of respite.
After my experience on the bus, I find that I am reluctant to get on a full bus. I have no need to be squished in with all of those people. It makes my introvert side scream. So I wait for the next bus. And sometimes, the bus after that. I use the time as an extra moment to rest.
Blessed Be,
Darrick Jackson
Student minister
Canvass Dinners
Dear Members and Friends of First Parish,
It's that time of the year when we start planning for the Annual Canvass. The Canvass is when members and friends of First Parish pledge to provide financial support for our operating budget for the coming year (which begins on April 1st in the church's financial calendar). Your financial pledge is critical in supporting all of the services and programs of First Parish.
This year's Canvass will be similar to last year's. The Canvass begins with a special sermon on February 26 and is followed by eight Canvass potluck suppers during March. Members and friends of First Parish are invited to attend one of the suppers to socialize with fellow parishioners, talk about the church, and make their pledge for the coming year. The Canvass ends with the Annual Dinner on March 25.
To support these suppers, we need two volunteers for each: a facilitator and a host. The facilitator is responsible for leading the discussion and reporting back on the pledge results (facilitator tips will be provided). The host provides space for the dinner -- their home, in most cases -- and coordinates the food for the potluck. Are you willing to take-on one of these roles?
The dates are the following:
Thursday, March 2, 7-9 PM at the host's home
Friday, March 3, 7-9 PM at the host's home
Saturday, March 4, 5:30-7:30 PM at First Parish, with childcare provided
Sunday, March 5, 7-9 PM at the host's home
Thursday, March 9, 7-9 PM at the host's home
Friday, March 10, 7-9 PM at the host's home
Saturday, March 11, 7-9 PM at the host’s home
Sunday, March 12, 5:30-7:30 PM at First Parish, with childcare provided
If you would like to serve as the host or facilitator for one of the potluck suppers, please contact John Portz at jportz@rcn.com or 617-924-1899.
All members and friends will have a chance to sign-up for a dinner later in the month of February. We will post sign-up sheets at church, and email all of you again once we know the hosts and facilitators.
Thanks,
John Portz
For the Canvass Committee
Watertown Walks
Watertown Walks! presents their next event "Wetlands of West Watertown" Saturday, February 11, at 2:00 PM. Meet at the Gore Place parking lot, Gore Street, Waltham. We'll be strolling along the stream that cuts through Gore Place and discussing wetland indicator plants. The walk carries over to Waltham Street where we will view Walker Pond. Time permitting, we will continue the walk down to the Charles River. The walk should appeal to
nature lovers and history buffs alike. Watertown Walks! is a program sponsored by Watertown Citizens for Environmental Safety. For more information, call Kathy Button (617) 923-1840.
Financial Commitment to Your Church
The Canvass Committee wishes to thank all the members and friends of First Parish listed below (77 pledge units)who have so generously made pledges or made recorded contributions to support our church in the 2005-2006 church year. If you would like to join this community of people who through their financial contributions enable First Parish to continue to play its important role in all of our spiritual lives, please feel free to speak to our Minister, Mark Harris, or Bob Shay, the chair of the Canvass Committee about pledging.
Allendoerfer, Karen
Altamari, Michael and Roberta
Babazadeh, Djalai
Beck, Barbara
Bejcek, Harold
Bender, Brigitte
Benson, David & Dutton, Nancy
Berney, Carole & Chuck
Bethell, Charlyn & Urban, Guy
Bloom, Ann
Boenau, Marilyn
Brown, Gretchen
Brown, Roberta
Burkhardt, Gwynne
Button, Kathy
Cachimuel, Holly ; Calleja, Ric
Carnese, Paula
Carver, Denise
Chipman, Eric
Collins, Marianne & Michael
Dansereau, Paul & Miller, Julie
Day, Paul & Mulvaney Day, Norah
Demb, Sue & Joe
Drozd, Edward & Michelle
Erickson, Johanna
Felty, Jim ; Fitts, Judi
Flint, Susan & Haddad, Nick
Flannery, Patricia and Charles Gibson
Fox, Patricia and Linda Letourneau
Glover, Anna
Greene, Ruth
Guidrey, Susan and Val McDonald
Gustin, Stephen
Hansberry, Barbara
Harrington, Anne
Harris, Mark & Greenwood, Andrea
Hart, Kyle & Johanna
Howe, Maryellen and Brian
Howland, Brian & Janie
Johnson, Christopher & Repp, Ken
Kamm, Roger & Judy
Karls, Andrea
Klein, Jan
Klein, Rachel Ann
Knight, Anna
Knuttunen, Jane
Kuder, Sue
McCarthy, Michael
McFarland, Rosalind
Merkl, Jean & Gorman, John
Morrison, David
Morton, Kelly and Kyle
Mountain, Joani ; Otto, Kevin
Parsons, Beth ; Peters, Kim
Portz, John & Montague, Meredith
Proskauer, Charmian
Rhoda, Randy
Ryan, Eileen ; Sayied, Ingrid
Schlivek, Mary
Scott, Martha
Shay, Missy & Bob
Shepard, Diane & Thom
Sherman, Aurora & Miller, Jeff
Stein, Deborah
Sweeney, Jacqui
Tappan-deFrees, Elizabeth & Isabel
Tawa, Nicholas & Michelina
Turner, Patricia
Twombly, Will & Sue
Urban, Martha
Vogel, Jerusha and Ken
Warren, Kathy & David
WORSHIP SURVEY COMING YOUR WAY - WE WANT YOUR THOUGHTS AND IDEAS!
The First Parish Worship Committee has developed a survey to gather your thoughts, experiences, and visions concerning our worship service. It’s been several years since we’ve conducted a worship survey.
Since it is fitting for UU's to share their voices, and your voice is essential to this community, we want to invite – no URGE – you to take this upcoming opportunity to offer your perspectives on worship.
March will be survey month – we will be distributing the surveys electronically through e-mail and printed copies will be available at the church. You can complete and return your survey anytime in the month of March – up until Sunday, April 2, which will be the final collection day. You may submit your completed survey by e-mail or hard copy.
PLEASE DON'T MISS THIS CHANCE TO OFFER YOUR UNIQUE PERSPECTIVE AND VISION FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR WORSHIP TIME TOGETHER.
Worship Committee
Marianne Collins, Guy Urban
Djalai Babazadeh, Chris Johnson
Eric Chapman, Jeanne Cleary
Covenant Group
Our February meeting is open to newcomers. The meeting is being held on Sunday, February 26 at 1:00 p.m. Stay after church/social hour for a stimulating conversation in the conference room. Our topic in February is “Living Simply.” What are you doing in your life to live more simply? Please bring readings and/or ideas to share.
Hymnal Appeal
Did you know that you can purchase a new hymnal for the church and then dedicate it in memory or in honor of someone? We have special bookplates for this purpose. We would love to increase the number of hymnals we have, so that everyone at worship can have one (or nearly everyone). The cost is
$30.00. Please speak to Mark.
Let this also be a reminder that borrowed hymnals should please be returned to
church.
Attention UU Landlords
UU MINISTER SEEKS AN APARTMENT THAT FEELS LIKE HOME.
I am a UU Community Minister, studying Spirituality in the Doctor of Ministry program at Andover Newton Theological School. Because my current landlord is selling his property, I must move - again. I enjoy
living in the Arlington/Watertown area and want to stay! So, I am actively seeking a 2-bedroom apartment, and think it would be splendid to rent from a kindred UU. If you have a vacant apartment or one coming
up between February and May, I hope you will contact me.
Because of allergies, my ideal home has wood floors, radiator or baseboard heat, a washer/dryer hook-up, co-tenants who don’t smoke or use lots of chemicals or fragrances. My ideal home has not been newly renovated, freshly painted or floors re-done. It will be sunny and cozy and the landlord will be awesome! If the rent is reasonable, that’s a plus.
I am quiet, mature and responsible, and will care for your property as if it were my own. I don’t smoke or drink or have children or pets.
If you have a place for me, I look forward to hearing from you.
With gratitude and blessings,
Rev. Jade Angelica (781-648-1525 / jangelica@uuma.org)
Join the UU Coaching Network!
UUCN is growing and invites you to join! This non-profit association is a
community of professionally trained life coaches anchored in the UU principles
of compassion, integrity and inclusion. To learn of its mission and how you can
Benefit from membership, please visit www.uucoachingnetwork.org, if you are
considering hiring a coach, UUCN is also a resource to find the right coach for you.